Don't Be a Hodad

Tell you what...each time I sit down to write one of these bad boys, I think two things:

A) I don't blog nearly enough.
B) Try not to make this one of the "boring" ones.

So I'll try to satisfy both of those shortcomings in one action-packed entry. Now, one thing I didn't want to do with my bloggy dispatches was make it an arena where I just talk about crap I'm doing. However, I know that it's interesting to some people, so I'll recap...then get on to the true meaty center of what I want to talk about: NAFTA.

Well, I've been working about two to three times a week by now, doing background work (side note -- it simply tickles me when someone on the production calls us "Background Artists." I mean...you know, you don't have to make it more than it is. I don't consider repreatedly walking ten feet when some dude yells "background" to be particularly artistically fulfilling...). Actual commercial auditions have petered out a bit...nothing for the last two weeks or so. And on top of all of that, it's been friggingly hot the last couple of days, and hot weather is "stupid," as it saps me of energy, motivation, moisture, intelligence, and soap bubbles.

But Erika and I are coming up against some type of glass barrier at this point, and it's pretty annoying. We've got ourselves a quick education on the acting business as it stands right now, and endless theories on how to bust in. The biggest problem Erika and I have is our non-union status...and the retarded hoops that SAG makes you jump through to get into their union.

There are (as far as I can tell) three ways to get into SAG (that's the "Screen Actor's Guild," in case you're not up on your acronyms): vouchers, Taft-Hartley, or joining a sister union and waiting a year.

Here's the basics on vouchers. Each TV show has 10 union vouchers that they can give away per day. Each movie has anywhere from 30 to 50. Now, they have to give these vouchers to union actors. On the off chance that a union actor doesn't show up...they can give a voucher to a non-union actor. So, the ones who get union vouchers are either lucky, connected, or super-aggressive. I can't speak for Erika, but I'm none of those things. The bummer part of it is, the people who get SAG vouchers aren't neccesarily the ones who perform the best...work the hardest...or are the easiest to work with. Usually, it's the squeaky wheels, or the incredibly lucky. So, Erika and I show up to set on time, mind our P's and Q's, stay quiet backstage, volunteer for extra duty, ask politely if there are any extra spots, take the rejection with a smile, and go home with our base rate. So far, neither of us has got a single voucher (you need 3 to join SAG), and it's starting to wear on us.

The second way to get into SAG is being Taft-Hartley'd...which means that a casting director hires you in a union spot even if you're non-union. The problem is, SAG fines any production that does this. So there are many casting directors who will not even consider non-union actors in fear of being fined.

Finally, you can join a sister union (such as Equity or AFTRA), work in at least one principal role, wait a year, and then you can join SAG. The only problem with this is that you have to join another union ($$$), then you've got to wait a full year before you can start working SAG jobs.

So, we're getting a little bummed out...but still hopeful. I mean, even if we're not getting SAG vouchers, we're still getting paid to sit around for 8 hours, occasionally walking ten feet when people ask us to. We haven't had to get day jobs yet. We're living in an amazing apartment, we have met some great new friends, we have our health, and we're trying to do what we've always dreamed of doing. For as discouraged as we get, honestly, it's a drop in the water...because it's actually in our reach. We've got some barriers to bust through before we get there...but we can see it now...and it's starting to seem "possible."

International Shilling

Hey blog, what's up? Dude...it's been a while. How's things? You been doing auditions or anything? No? Just been hanging out here? That's cool...that's cool. Did you see Desperate Housewives last week? My wife was on the show. Yeah, actually she was on the official website for a while, because she was sitting right behind Marcia Cross in one of the scenes. It's pretty cool...you should talk to her blog about it if you're interested.

Me? Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Well, jinkies! It really has been a while, hasn't it? All right...well, last time I was thumping my chest about how awesome I am, and how I totally rule Los Angeles, because I work as a background actor and got cast in a non-union commercial to be shown in Ireland. Take that, Dabney Coleman!!!

But, of course, it's not all peaches and cream. The last couple of auditions I've done with my agent (including that Norwegian one), I didn't get called back for. I did a couple of background gigs...a student film...I actually filmed the Sprite commercial...and I did a Toyota Tundra commercial where a brand new 2008 truck smashed through a fake cabin at a ranch where a ton of films are shot. I suppose you want specifics, including air dates and times? Sigh. Well, here goes:

-- On the show Without a Trace, I'll be portraying street background at an office building where someone is confronting a kidnapped girl (I'm camera-right, walking toward the building, wearing a blue jacket), then I switch to an FBI Agent, doing crosses behind the principals who are in an office (left to right, then right to left). Finally I switch to a Park Ranger outfit, and I'm helping look for a body...crossing in front of the camera in the wood. The episode airs on Thursday April 24th at 10:00 PM on CBS.

-- On the show House M.D., I'm at a bowling alley, walking camera-left to camera-right (then back again) behind House and Chase. I'm walking with a shorter asian woman, wearing my customary brown polo shirt. Then, at some other point in the episode (don't know if it's earlier or later), I'm at the bar with House and Wilson, and I cross camera-right to camera-left, this time in front of the actors. I'm wearing my blue blazer. Seems that if I'm not wearing a brown polo, I'm wearing the blue blazer...I guess that's just how it works. Anyhow, this episode airs on Monday, April 28th at 9:00 PM on Fox.

-- On CSI: NY I'm an "upscale gambler" in an illegal gambling den, wearing a blue blazer and a blue button-up shirt. You've got a good chance of seeing me on this episode. First up, I'm smack-dab in front of a crane shot that zooms through a drycleaner and into the gambling area -- I'm at the black jack table, talking up a lady...and I move camera-left as the camera approaches me. Then, I'm talking to a police officer just to the left of Gary Sinese's character when we're all arrested. The episode airs on Wednesday May 1st at 10:00 PM on CBS.

And that's all for now. Hot damn, that takes a while to write out. But...I know the one or two of you who actually decide to watch these episodes actually appreciate it (looking at you, Mom). Either way, for the lazy ones of you (looking at you, Patrick), I'll probably just record it myself and post the best shots (the ones I'm in) for you to enjoy. Eventually, I'll have a sweet actor reel, consisting of various shots of my body...out of frame, and out of focus. I'm sure Hollywood would just be salivating over that little slice of film heaven.

One more thing -- looks like I'll be going up to Bellingham for the month of July! Erika and I are doing a Summer Repertory up there at the Mount Baker Theatre. I don't have a lot of details, but it looks like we'll be doing Barefoot in the Park, and I'll be in Driving Miss Daisy. So...mark your calendar...or whatever you use to keep track of dates...