That First Year...

So, I had an interesting conversation with my older brother over the weekend...Tim, if you're reading, you might remember this. Well, looking back at my last, oh, couple of blog posts (anything not starring your pal Frenchy), I realize that my tone has become something of a downer. Remember when I used to blog about silly things? Like candy rainbows, people wearing funny suits, pandas, and monkeys doing karate? Well...that was replaced by a half-year of bitching about this or that. And I tell you what...I apologize.

See, here's what happened. Before the move I'd preemptively deflect the notion that we thought we were going to have it easy. "Naw, I understand that it's going to take years for this thing to take off...if it ever does." "I'm in this for the long haul." "We know that first year is going to be the toughest...if we can just get past that, then we'll do okay." "Well, if we really want to pursue our dream, we've got to get out of Seattle to a place where we've got a chance to do this professionally." "Where did you get those Skittles?" "Can I have some Skittles?" "Those Skittles were delicious. Thank you." "I've got to go...I'm going to buy a bag of Skittles, and some Mike's Hard Lemonade."

But there was (naturally) a disconnect between what I was saying, and what I really felt. Sure, I'd say it was going to be tough...but I didn't really think it was going to be tough. There was going to be some kind of lucky break...or somehow I'd skate by that first year...or maybe I'd just be auditioning so much that something magic had to happen.

And when we all arrived in Los Angeles, I thought to myself, "Hell, this isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be! What the hell was everyone talking about?" Then I threw in another "Hell!" because I felt like cursing unnecesarily. Things were actually going very well -- sure I was using up my savings, but I'd already planned on doing that. Sure I wasn't auditioning as much as I wanted to, but there were always reasons (my not being is SAG was the reason de jour for quite some time).

Then Vegas happened. And things got tough. Now, sitting in Bellingham, I'm realizing just how really tough it's actually going to be. Like...cut expenses, work harder, live cheaper tough. See, in the back of my mind, I didn't actually think it was going to be tough. Call it naivete, optimism, what you will...the entire time I was in Los Angeles, I didn't really see what the big deal was. Now I see. And this is the "wheat separating from chaff" time for me, I'm now realizing.

Because this is the actual "hard time" I was vocalizing before, but never really believing. I mean, honestly, who doesn't have car trouble? What actor hasn't been frustrated by the auditioning process, or the inability to "break in" to the business? What person without a steady job hasn't come to the realization one day that there "is no more money"?

Anyhow, the good. The positive.

-- I came down expecting to be out of money within 4 months (best estimate) and I've managed to last more than 6...and will probably at least last 8 months without having to hold down a permanent job of some kind. That's great. I'm very proud of that.

-- I've learned a ton about the business, being around actors, casting directors, agents, and acting coaches. Everyone has a story, rap, and advice that they want you to hear. Sometimes it's tough to separate the BS from the legit...and everyone's going to have their own unique experience and point of view...but either way I want to hear it...and I have now.

-- I've made about $5,000 from acting alone this year. And that was just from "auditioning every once in a while" and "doing extra work when I wanted to." I haven't even really given it the full, sporting try yet. That will begin when I return to L.A. in mid-August. Stay tuned.

-- I've met some fantastic, talented, real, and hilarious people, in a town that is supposedly full of phonies. I was fully prepared to meet no one I liked, and have to resort to just spending all day and night with my awesome wife (a perfectly fine alternative, in my opinion), but not only did I hook up with the Daywalker folks, but I've also met more than a few "background actors" and "acting classmates" that I would hesitantly call "friends."

-- I've got a great place to live, a fully funtional automobile, and my health. As long as I've got those things, I'll be able to survive. I lose one of those things and...well...let's stay positive. The point is, I've got the basics -- and they're very good.

-- My wife is, as always, my rock. I'd be useless without her. She drives me to be better than I would be without her. Sorry...no jokes in this bullet point...she's just really cool.

All right...enough for now. For those of you interested, I'm in Bellingham now (as I mentioned in my last post). If you'd like to come see me act, all of the information on shows is at this website: http://www.mountbakertheatre.com/homepage.php All three shows are very good. If you come, I'm sure you'll enjoy them.