I have nothing specific to report now...but here's how it works. See, I've got three or four full-length blog entries muddling about on my laptop or desktop hard drives. Someday I'll get around to actually posting two or three of those (I have a very nit-picky editor).
But in the meantimes, stuff happens...and it tends to fall by wayside. So I'll throw together a little mish-mash of topics that need a brief covering. A kind of "news in brief." The only problem is, the "news in brief" tends to take a couple of hours to write out...and then I'll usually forget stuff anyway.
Regardless I shall plunge ahead...with no fear.
First up there's Europe. For those of you who have been living under a rock (and if you are under a rock, what the hell are you doing? How do you check your MySpace? I want to know more! MESSAGE ME WITH DETAILS!!! LOL!!!), or for those of you who weren't aware because we hadn't told you yet, Erika and I are taking a trip to Europe for 21 days. Starting in Paris, then to Munich, Lucerne, and Rome. Now, my intention is to keep a daily journal of our days in Europe. Whether that happens, and whether I'm able to actually update and post a blog a day...well, that remains to be seen. I shall try...but...I mean...I'll be in Europe, and Erika will no doubt yell at me if I'm hunkered over a laptop surfing the web when I should be gazing slack-jawed at all the artistic majesty and junk around me.
Secondly...well...a couple of months ago I was asked by several extras casting agencies if I would "go nude." I put "hell to the yeah" on those applications...because...well, if someone wanted to pay me to see it, I'd gladly oblige. It's not so much that I'm free-spirited or anything...just really indifferent.
Yesterday I finally got my chance. There was a re-shoot for the upcoming movie "Yes Man," that involved a large conference room filled with naked people...for reasons that seem a little far-fetched to me. Regardless, I volunteered for this nude duty...partly because there was a handsome pay bump...partly because it beats a day of "non-descript New York street pedestrian" that has become my speciality...and partly because I knew there'd be naked chicks there (sorry 'bout that last one Erika...but it had to be said).
Anyhow, I went there with my good buddy Mr. Ben Dunn (also volunteering for the arduous duty), and...well...it was pretty unremarkable. Most people were sporting nude-colored tube tops or boxer shorts, but a few select members of the audience (the ones in the front row, and on the aisles) had to sport pasties, flesh-colored g-strings, and (I don't know how else to phrase this than) a cock sock (no hyperlink...I'll let you use your imagination). I got the boxer short treatment. My only real problem was that I was among the most lily white guys there. But...I mean...just imagine every shape, color, and size person...and they were represented. And I had no one laughing and pointing at any part of my body (that I could detect anyway), so all-in-all...it was a good day.
Let's see...what else...what else... Some quick celebrity gossipy crap -- turns out Tom Hanks is every bit as fun, approachable, and friendly as he appears on camera. Roommate Chad worked on his latest movie, and had nothing but glowing things to say about the guy. I worked an episode of The Office last week, and the people I saw there (Ed Helms, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, and Steve Carell) were all "bite the insides of the cheeks to keep from laughing" funny. On a 100+ degree day in the valley, Tony Shalhoub of bought the entire cast and crew of Monk (including the extras) ice cream from a nearby store.
Hmm...I had other stuff...but I've completely forgot it. Ack. Oh well...maybe I'll tack them on to the next blog update-y thing. Until then...
*UPDATE* Oh right, I remember one now. I've been privileged enough to view two enigmas up close and personal. The first one is the Verizon Guy, who I got to see from a huge background call being "In The Network." He seemed like a pretty neat guy -- he chatted with a couple of the extras about how being in the commercials was a pretty easy gig. The other enigma was "the banker" from Deal or No Deal. I was standing in the back row of the audience, and I happened to see him exiting from his little booth and heading backstage during one of the breaks. And you know what -- even though the guy is just a black silhouette on the show, the actual banker looks like his persona -- grey haired, sallow sunken-in eyes, white, and kinda' angular in the face. It was almost like the did the guy's make-up even though he's never actually seen in good light. Though, I'm pretty sure all of the caustic things he's credited with are actually Howie Mandel (who is the definition of "artistically corrupt," "dead inside," and "mailing it in" on that show) lashing out at the contestants.
Okay...that's all for now...unless I remember something else and add another update...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
A Word
I feel I may have...let's say..."misrepresented" myself with my last blog entry. A bit. I do appreciate the swell of concern for my well-being this last week -- heck, it's good to know that people are paying attention when you seem "distressed." But I want to assure you, there's no cause for alarm...things have just been a little shitty recently.
I forgot about the word shitty. It's a classic...doesn't get around much any more...but I like it. And here it seems totally applicable.
So this has been a rough month -- probably the roughest one I've endured since I moved down here (followed closely by the Vegas melt-down). Heck, this may be as bad as the winter of my Sophomore year of college...where I subsisted entirely on Ramen and PBJ sandwiches (Seriously. That's all I ate. Ask Jason and Koby, they'll tell you...). That Winter I was placed on academic probation during the one quarter when I only took a "light load" of three classes (flunking one because I missed the midterm, and barely passing the other two). At that point I hadn't had a girlfriend in two years (or any likely prospects...or attention from women, really). I was completely broke...with no income to speak of...living in a closet-sized room...and just starting to lose my hair. To top it off, I wasn't getting cast in any shows at the University. That was a rough time. This...?
Well, this isn't so bad, really. I eat better. I'm married to a total fox. I got my degree. Y'know...it's easy for me to lose perspective here (as I think I've said nearly seventy dozen times on this blog), but really...when I step back...I think I'm doing all right. I won't bother listing off my accomplishments, because I don't want to be seen going from "semi-depressed" to "bragging" in the blink of an eye. But I mean it when I say, "I'm okay."
All the same, though...I'll make this pledge to you -- I'm not going to be deceptive about the state of things in my life. Best advice Pops ever gave me (borrowing from Polonius' speech to his son): "To thine own self be true." And, I figure, just as important are the next two lines from that speech: "And it must follow, as the night the day / Thou can not be false to any man."
Accordingly, in this sacred digital place, I'm not going to hype up my acting experiences if they've been lousy, or downplay the good things that may come. My last blog entry was sort of a product of that attempted honesty -- I wanted to deliver an update on stuff I was up to, but the reality was that I really wasn't up to much...and that led me to speak about my professional frustrations (something occupying a good deal of my brain at the moment). I'm really not interested in going to one extreme or the other -- either bragging about the gigs I've booked, or wallowing bitterly in my failures. I'm just trying to lay it on the line...as honestly as I'm able to do.
Because I'd like to have some kind of written record here. Even if I fade off to obscurity when I'm gone, at least I've got this -- 117 posts of me talking about crap. This is a subject for another blog entry, but I've been working multiple hours working on my family tree. When I'm gone, and that poor schmuck who has decended directly from me wonders aloud, "Hey, so who exactly was my great-great gradfather?" he doesn't have to squint at old hand-written census entries and try to connect the dots. He can just fire up MySpace and take a jarring stroll through the ramblings my feeble brain.
If only I could read the diary of the mystery men and women I decended from...a German named Andreas who boarded a ship he thought was heading to Austrailia, but ended up in Texas instead...an Irish man fleeing the potato famine who made his way to New York, eventually winding up with 13 children...the bricklayer of unknown parentage who inexplicably added an "A" to the name "Rhoades," and passed it on to his children...the woman fleeing religious persecution in Luxembourg, coming to the US only to be mistreated by her husband and eventually institutionalized...the Texas farmer's wife, recently immigrated from Germany, bouncing from small town to small town with six children in tow. If only I could go somewhere and read about their lives, their personal struggles, their triumphs -- I just think that stuff is fascinating. Instead...all I get are census records...the occasional photograph...and a lot of empty space.
Wow. Digression. Anyhow, it's way past my bedtime -- I actually have an audition tomorrow for a musical -- I'll let you know if anything comes of it. Life goes on...
I forgot about the word shitty. It's a classic...doesn't get around much any more...but I like it. And here it seems totally applicable.
So this has been a rough month -- probably the roughest one I've endured since I moved down here (followed closely by the Vegas melt-down). Heck, this may be as bad as the winter of my Sophomore year of college...where I subsisted entirely on Ramen and PBJ sandwiches (Seriously. That's all I ate. Ask Jason and Koby, they'll tell you...). That Winter I was placed on academic probation during the one quarter when I only took a "light load" of three classes (flunking one because I missed the midterm, and barely passing the other two). At that point I hadn't had a girlfriend in two years (or any likely prospects...or attention from women, really). I was completely broke...with no income to speak of...living in a closet-sized room...and just starting to lose my hair. To top it off, I wasn't getting cast in any shows at the University. That was a rough time. This...?
Well, this isn't so bad, really. I eat better. I'm married to a total fox. I got my degree. Y'know...it's easy for me to lose perspective here (as I think I've said nearly seventy dozen times on this blog), but really...when I step back...I think I'm doing all right. I won't bother listing off my accomplishments, because I don't want to be seen going from "semi-depressed" to "bragging" in the blink of an eye. But I mean it when I say, "I'm okay."
All the same, though...I'll make this pledge to you -- I'm not going to be deceptive about the state of things in my life. Best advice Pops ever gave me (borrowing from Polonius' speech to his son): "To thine own self be true." And, I figure, just as important are the next two lines from that speech: "And it must follow, as the night the day / Thou can not be false to any man."
Accordingly, in this sacred digital place, I'm not going to hype up my acting experiences if they've been lousy, or downplay the good things that may come. My last blog entry was sort of a product of that attempted honesty -- I wanted to deliver an update on stuff I was up to, but the reality was that I really wasn't up to much...and that led me to speak about my professional frustrations (something occupying a good deal of my brain at the moment). I'm really not interested in going to one extreme or the other -- either bragging about the gigs I've booked, or wallowing bitterly in my failures. I'm just trying to lay it on the line...as honestly as I'm able to do.
Because I'd like to have some kind of written record here. Even if I fade off to obscurity when I'm gone, at least I've got this -- 117 posts of me talking about crap. This is a subject for another blog entry, but I've been working multiple hours working on my family tree. When I'm gone, and that poor schmuck who has decended directly from me wonders aloud, "Hey, so who exactly was my great-great gradfather?" he doesn't have to squint at old hand-written census entries and try to connect the dots. He can just fire up MySpace and take a jarring stroll through the ramblings my feeble brain.
If only I could read the diary of the mystery men and women I decended from...a German named Andreas who boarded a ship he thought was heading to Austrailia, but ended up in Texas instead...an Irish man fleeing the potato famine who made his way to New York, eventually winding up with 13 children...the bricklayer of unknown parentage who inexplicably added an "A" to the name "Rhoades," and passed it on to his children...the woman fleeing religious persecution in Luxembourg, coming to the US only to be mistreated by her husband and eventually institutionalized...the Texas farmer's wife, recently immigrated from Germany, bouncing from small town to small town with six children in tow. If only I could go somewhere and read about their lives, their personal struggles, their triumphs -- I just think that stuff is fascinating. Instead...all I get are census records...the occasional photograph...and a lot of empty space.
Wow. Digression. Anyhow, it's way past my bedtime -- I actually have an audition tomorrow for a musical -- I'll let you know if anything comes of it. Life goes on...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What Am I Doing?!
The movie Idiocracy is about future of the US, where it has transformed into a "dystopia where marketing, commercialism, and cultural anti-intellectualism run rampant and dysgenic pressure has resulted in a uniformly stupid human society." The most popular T.V. show is called "Ow, My Balls!" And it features an actor getting repeatedly hit in the balls...in a variety of different situations.
Me? I just spent 6 hours watching people pick random suitcases. Then, once all the suitcases were gone, they got money. Then another person got up and did the same thing.
I'm speaking, of course, about the show Deal or No Deal. 14,600,000 people watch this show every week. Apparently scientists have researched the show highlighting it's complexity in decision-making and probability. But to me, it was about as much fun as watching someone slowly scratch a lottery ticket. I remember when game shows required some kind of skill, or intelligence to play (even Press Your Luck had a round of trivia questions). It seems that a disturbing number of shows now are more interested in the personalities of the contestants than the actual competition.
But I've digressed terribly (and preachily). The point is, today I went crawling back to "audience work," and subjected myself to 6 hours of boredom.
Now, I don't want to step on any toes here, but things are going fairly well in this household of ours. Chad has received all of his SAG Background vouchers, and is now eligible to join the Union. Erika has also gained eligibility...but I'll let her tell you how (don't want to get in trouble for breaking big news before she gets to). Lindsay has secured her first (of the three required) SAG voucher, and is now taking classes at the Groundlings, and working pretty consistently in background gigs (including a semi-regular spot on the show Greek).
Then there's me. I watched Deal or No Deal for 6 hours, and got paid for it. I have zero SAG vouchers. The registration on my car has been expired for 2 months, and I don't have enough money to get it renewed (plus there is an exhaust leak, and a slowly dying starter and alternator). I earned a "King's Bounty" of "Just under $400" working Background last month. I've had one audition since returning from Bellingham. I've only worked once or twice a week as an extra since moving back.
All in all...things are not going well. But I don't say this to whine (although it sho' do feel good), just to let you all know where I'm at. I wish I could report happier things, but when the family clamors for updates (as is their right), I'm afraid I'm just not full of real great news at the moment. The household seems to be doing very well...but yours truly is in a bit of a rut at the moment (and not the awesome deer sex kind). Hopefully I'll break out soon -- damned if I'm going to let this business break my spirit. I just hope it's sooner rather than later...
As for specifics...well, here's what I know. I'll be appearing in my awesome blue blazer in a Benihana during the show 'Til Death, airing on September 24th. And that's all I know for now (there will be other shows, but the new seasons haven't started up fully yet).
But enough of that. Man...I go to make a simple update, then I get all whiny and weepy. Terrible.
Me? I just spent 6 hours watching people pick random suitcases. Then, once all the suitcases were gone, they got money. Then another person got up and did the same thing.
I'm speaking, of course, about the show Deal or No Deal. 14,600,000 people watch this show every week. Apparently scientists have researched the show highlighting it's complexity in decision-making and probability. But to me, it was about as much fun as watching someone slowly scratch a lottery ticket. I remember when game shows required some kind of skill, or intelligence to play (even Press Your Luck had a round of trivia questions). It seems that a disturbing number of shows now are more interested in the personalities of the contestants than the actual competition.
But I've digressed terribly (and preachily). The point is, today I went crawling back to "audience work," and subjected myself to 6 hours of boredom.
Now, I don't want to step on any toes here, but things are going fairly well in this household of ours. Chad has received all of his SAG Background vouchers, and is now eligible to join the Union. Erika has also gained eligibility...but I'll let her tell you how (don't want to get in trouble for breaking big news before she gets to). Lindsay has secured her first (of the three required) SAG voucher, and is now taking classes at the Groundlings, and working pretty consistently in background gigs (including a semi-regular spot on the show Greek).
Then there's me. I watched Deal or No Deal for 6 hours, and got paid for it. I have zero SAG vouchers. The registration on my car has been expired for 2 months, and I don't have enough money to get it renewed (plus there is an exhaust leak, and a slowly dying starter and alternator). I earned a "King's Bounty" of "Just under $400" working Background last month. I've had one audition since returning from Bellingham. I've only worked once or twice a week as an extra since moving back.
All in all...things are not going well. But I don't say this to whine (although it sho' do feel good), just to let you all know where I'm at. I wish I could report happier things, but when the family clamors for updates (as is their right), I'm afraid I'm just not full of real great news at the moment. The household seems to be doing very well...but yours truly is in a bit of a rut at the moment (and not the awesome deer sex kind). Hopefully I'll break out soon -- damned if I'm going to let this business break my spirit. I just hope it's sooner rather than later...
As for specifics...well, here's what I know. I'll be appearing in my awesome blue blazer in a Benihana during the show 'Til Death, airing on September 24th. And that's all I know for now (there will be other shows, but the new seasons haven't started up fully yet).
But enough of that. Man...I go to make a simple update, then I get all whiny and weepy. Terrible.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
LOL!!!
Greetings, ladies and GERMS!!! LOL!!! Guess WHO!?!! That's right, it's your old pal FRENCHY!!! Comin' at ya' like a heart attack! Mixing rhymes like Purina mixes their GRILL!!! Mmmm...wow, I really got hungry for a second there! I wonder if it's time to eat yet?! Hmm...let me go meow like a demon at TYLER!!! BRB!!!
Whelp, apparently I ate less than an hour ago. Whoops! Must have been the after-dinner nap I took! Felt like a slept FOREVER! Like I'm Rip Van Frenchy! LOL!
Well, I tell you what, this has been a CRAZZZY couple of months for your good friend Frenchy! Guess what happened!?!!? You'll never guess!!! Chicken BUTT!!! Wait, I think I did that wrong. Anyhow, Tyler and Erika (I call them "The Ones That Feed Me" for short) abandoned us for what seemed like 900 years! I swear, one morning I'm resting comfortably on my back in the hallway, I wake up, go to the kitchen expecting a nice dinner of Mixed Grill cat food, and...boy, I must have waited for somewhere close to 900 years! Finally, for some reason, the handsome guy with the black hair woke me up and fed me. Talk about SHOCKING! Who is that guy, anyways? LOL!
So yeah, this continued for at least a good 900 years...always with the same pattern. Either the good looking guy or his good looking wife would feed me over the next 900 years while my real owners were away. It took a little getting used to (my guess -- I was okay with it after about 900 years), but eventually I plum forgot about those two people who used to feed me.
Finally, shockingly, THEY RETURNED!!! I was napping at the foot of the bed one morning, when lo and behold, they came in carrying two interesting bags which I suddenly became very interested in climbing on, and digging my claws into!!! Well, things returned to normal pretty quickly, which is good, because I'm a creature of habit. Or, as I like to call it, "Cat-bit." Hmm...that doesn't quite work, does it. Oh well!!! LOL!!!
But this isn't to say that I've been resting on my furry laurels! No siree, I've been getting pretty serious about breaking into this "acting" business. I mean...just THINK about it! Who was the last famous cat actor you can think of?!?! Bela Lugosi? NOPE!!! He wasn't a cat, he was a HUMAN! Man, and Tyler calls ME stupid! LOL!!!
Well, before my owners (like you can even own a Frenchy...for reals!!!) left, they spent about 900 years reading these little green and yellow books...and talking to each other while holding these books. Took me some time to figure it out (about half of 900 years...whatever that is), but I finally realized that they were MEMORIZING LINES!!! Now, me personally, the last thing I memorized was the quickest path from my sleeping basket to the LITTER BOX (HINT: it's through the bedroom door). But, being as I'm trying to take this thing a little more seriously, I tried my hand at MEMORIZING!!! Chikkity-check-check-check, check it out!!!!
Here's me, doing what I do best: napping with my mouth open.
No TV for me, please! I've got some READING to do!!!
Man...it was actually pretty tough to focus for a while there.
A little too tough. It was high time for a CAT NAP!!! LOL!!!
But I tell you what was really tough?! Getting past that COPYRIGHT page!!! Boy oh boy...those are some BIG OL' WORDS!!!
My angsty ACTOR pose!!! Look at me really FEELING my emotion!!!
Boy, all that FEELING was enough to make a cat TIRED!!!
All this memorizing is making me crazy!!! CRAAAAAAAZY!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Just because I'm memorizing, doesn't mean I will neglect my BASIC HYGIENE!!!
Do you MIND?! I'm taking a BATH here!!! LOL!!!
Hey, who's THAT guy? What is this, a public bath?!?!
That's IT!!! I've HAD IT with these M******ING SCRIPTS ON THIS M*******ING BED!!!!! LOL!!!!
As you can plainly see, maybe I'm just not cut out for the "actor's" wacky lifestyle. Plus, I'm not entirely sure I can READ!!! I don't know...I'll have to remember to ask Doody about that...after I take a nap! LOL!!!
Whelp, apparently I ate less than an hour ago. Whoops! Must have been the after-dinner nap I took! Felt like a slept FOREVER! Like I'm Rip Van Frenchy! LOL!
Well, I tell you what, this has been a CRAZZZY couple of months for your good friend Frenchy! Guess what happened!?!!? You'll never guess!!! Chicken BUTT!!! Wait, I think I did that wrong. Anyhow, Tyler and Erika (I call them "The Ones That Feed Me" for short) abandoned us for what seemed like 900 years! I swear, one morning I'm resting comfortably on my back in the hallway, I wake up, go to the kitchen expecting a nice dinner of Mixed Grill cat food, and...boy, I must have waited for somewhere close to 900 years! Finally, for some reason, the handsome guy with the black hair woke me up and fed me. Talk about SHOCKING! Who is that guy, anyways? LOL!
So yeah, this continued for at least a good 900 years...always with the same pattern. Either the good looking guy or his good looking wife would feed me over the next 900 years while my real owners were away. It took a little getting used to (my guess -- I was okay with it after about 900 years), but eventually I plum forgot about those two people who used to feed me.
Finally, shockingly, THEY RETURNED!!! I was napping at the foot of the bed one morning, when lo and behold, they came in carrying two interesting bags which I suddenly became very interested in climbing on, and digging my claws into!!! Well, things returned to normal pretty quickly, which is good, because I'm a creature of habit. Or, as I like to call it, "Cat-bit." Hmm...that doesn't quite work, does it. Oh well!!! LOL!!!
But this isn't to say that I've been resting on my furry laurels! No siree, I've been getting pretty serious about breaking into this "acting" business. I mean...just THINK about it! Who was the last famous cat actor you can think of?!?! Bela Lugosi? NOPE!!! He wasn't a cat, he was a HUMAN! Man, and Tyler calls ME stupid! LOL!!!
Well, before my owners (like you can even own a Frenchy...for reals!!!) left, they spent about 900 years reading these little green and yellow books...and talking to each other while holding these books. Took me some time to figure it out (about half of 900 years...whatever that is), but I finally realized that they were MEMORIZING LINES!!! Now, me personally, the last thing I memorized was the quickest path from my sleeping basket to the LITTER BOX (HINT: it's through the bedroom door). But, being as I'm trying to take this thing a little more seriously, I tried my hand at MEMORIZING!!! Chikkity-check-check-check, check it out!!!!
Here's me, doing what I do best: napping with my mouth open.
No TV for me, please! I've got some READING to do!!!
Man...it was actually pretty tough to focus for a while there.
A little too tough. It was high time for a CAT NAP!!! LOL!!!
But I tell you what was really tough?! Getting past that COPYRIGHT page!!! Boy oh boy...those are some BIG OL' WORDS!!!
My angsty ACTOR pose!!! Look at me really FEELING my emotion!!!
Boy, all that FEELING was enough to make a cat TIRED!!!
All this memorizing is making me crazy!!! CRAAAAAAAZY!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Just because I'm memorizing, doesn't mean I will neglect my BASIC HYGIENE!!!
Do you MIND?! I'm taking a BATH here!!! LOL!!!
Hey, who's THAT guy? What is this, a public bath?!?!
That's IT!!! I've HAD IT with these M******ING SCRIPTS ON THIS M*******ING BED!!!!! LOL!!!!
As you can plainly see, maybe I'm just not cut out for the "actor's" wacky lifestyle. Plus, I'm not entirely sure I can READ!!! I don't know...I'll have to remember to ask Doody about that...after I take a nap! LOL!!!
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