I’ll be honest...I wasn’t totally satisfied with the conclusion of this series. The whole thing just really ended too neatly – the meat head jock befriends the pasty, pimpled nerd, brought together through the magic of theater. It’s too much of a cliché – hell, I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of the new hit television show Glee.
But it’s not real life...I mean, it is, of course, but it wraps things up too neatly. And I realize that I was forgetting one of the biggest bastards that I came across...
Bully #5 struck when I was in the second grade – I’d forgotten about him mainly because, well, I was not the target of his abuse. James was. James McKee.
We were all in a 1st / 2nd grad split class, where the smartest kids from the 1st grade class were placed with the smartest kids from the 2nd grade...at least, that’s how I think it worked. Maybe it was just random. Who knows? Point is, James was one of the "exceptional" first graders...and I was exceptionally second-grade-ish.
Now, James was a really nice kid. A smart kid. Terribly ordinary-looking, really, if a little bit pale (he looked kind of like a cross between Jim Jay Bullock and John Michael Higgins).
James’ only real problem is that he was a bit weird. Okay, he was a lot weird...in one of those “Really Outspoken Nerd” kind of ways. He was also a bit of a crybaby, and easily victimized. Something about this combination drove Bully #5 crazy, and he loved laying into James. Externalizing pent up aggression? Problems at home? Fell in with the wrong crowd? Just a dick? Either way, he tormented James throughout the year, with no real inciting cause that I could decipher.
For instance, after recess, we’d all line up in front of the door until the teacher opened the class to let us in (so she could finish drinking, probably). For no good reason, Bully #5 would kick James in the leg...just to hear him cry out in pain. When the teacher wasn’t paying attention he’d pelt James with balled up pieces of paper, chunks of eraser, broken pencil lead. He was relentless, and merciless.
At one point James and the bully were placed next to each other in class, and that little asshole slowly and methodically inched his desk away from James...just a little bit at a time...until there was a good foot of separation between their two desks. It was the only time he got in trouble, but I’m pretty sure it was just a verbal reprimand.
Because, unfortunately, the teacher was not experienced enough to handle this issue. In fact, she may have inflamed it, unintentionally. One day during class she sent James down to the principal’s office with a note that just said, “Please keep James in the office for a while.” After James left, she talked to the class about how we needed to treat James a little nicer. Of course, it had the opposite effect... only serving to further alienate him from the general population.
The torment continued throughout the school year. James became a social pariah, and the next year he did not return to
I was now in the 11th grade, and James was in the 10th...and we had an acting class together. By that time I’d been through my own round of bullying, while James had grown into a super-pleasant, nice, funny, soft-spoken young man...who looked even more like a "J. Bullock / Michael Higgins Love Child." James was a Star Trek fanatic (he made an exceptionally accurate Starfleet uniform, and wore it to school on Halloween). He was the kind of kid who’d wear a nice suit to school one day...not to stand out or be different, but just because he felt like wearing a suit.
So we were talking one day, and I said to him, “Hey, James. Listen, I’m really sorry that I was such an asshole to you in the second grade."
Because, see, I was Bully #5. In fact, I'm pretty sure I more of a dick to James than the potent cocktail of Tyson, Jeremy, Ronnie, and
So after I mumbled out my apology, James paused thoughtfully and shrugged. “I don’t really remember that. I thought we got along really well back then.”
Unexpected. It made me want to kick him again, that pleasant bastard. Not sure what happened to him after I graduated (we weren’t that close), but I’m sure he’s making hundreds of thousands of dollars working with computers...or some-such. Because that's what nerds do when they grow up.
Why did I pick on James? I wish I knew. I know I can be terribly cruel sometimes...I try to avoid it, but I've got too much pissed off German blood running through my veins, or something. Of course, I’d always considered myself a defender of the downtrodden; a guy who skirted the line between “popular” and “nerd.” But, in the 2nd grade, there’s no doubt I was just “popular.” I was a cool kid...and it was at the apex of my popularity that I decided to victimize a nice (albeit strange), defenseless kid. And it wasn't like it was a group of us, or anything. There was no conspiracy to tease James -- I acted mostly alone, for purely dickish reasons. Wish I hadn't. Hope I never do again.
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