I Don’t Mean to Be a Downer

First up, there's a 50/50 chance I'll be deleting this blog post after I'm done writing, as I'm not in a real great state of mind...and it may be one of those I just eviscerate instead of posting (like my "Behind the Scenes" blog about the Sprite commercial, which, upon review, sounded way too snotty, and was beyond repair...hence...headed to the obscurity of the "My Documents" folder). Because, not only do I have a few perfect strangers reading this blog, I've also got a good deal of near and far friends, as well as family members, a wife, and one concerned feline (looking at you, Dorey).

Plus, there's a good chance I'll just accidentally navigate away from this page, which has killed far too many good blog posts of mine in the past.

Now, secondly, I never know which letters to capitalize in my "Subject" line. Do I capitalize "To" and "A"? Should I even use capitalization? Grammar, you are a fickle bastard.

But, the that I mean to write about is, I don't want to complain too much. Without going into too much detail, my family seems to be going through several of their own hardships now, be it medical, financial, or being surrounded by a glut of nearby natural disasters...so I feel like a bit of a baby when I'm whining about things like not getting into SAG, or feeling like I'm not being as active in my career path as I should be (that was a blog entry that got deleted per the "navigating away accidentally" option earlier)

But, the problem is, today was one of those days for me. Just seemed that nothing was going right. I spent all yesterday trying to find work as an extra, and coming up with a blank. Today was the same thing -- I'd checked the call lines probably once and hour, and there was nothing out there. I sent out about 10 submissions for auditions yesterday, and about 10 more today, but I didn't hear anything back. So I sat and sweated on my couch, and played about 4 hours of "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" (which I wanted to finish before I started the new one), before going in to acting class.

Let's take a break from this for one second to enjoy a New York newsanchor cursing on the air:







Ah...a question for the ages. The fuck am I doing right now (sorry 'bout the curse word, ma)? Well, I tell you what...I'm doing okay, in all honesty. Sure, I wish I were better looking, a better actor, more motivated, a little skinnier, less bald, with whiter & straighter teeth, and less of a propensity for self-critical thoughts.

But, all things considered, those aren't all that bad. I've got a grade-A gorgeous, talented wife who makes me a better person in every conceivable way, I've got my health (mostly), I've got a great apartment, a functional automobile, TiVo, good food, a kick-ass family, awesome friends (both old and new), and I'm doing what I want to do, in the town that makes it possible, with unlimited possibilities.

I'm sorry about complaining...but I'm even more sorry about firing off the predictable and super-clichéd "thankful for" blog post only 4 months into my time here. I'd thought I'd last longer. Things I don't want this blog to be are:

1) a rambling list of the day's minutia ("Got up. Ate Honey Nut Cheerios. Watched TV. Napped. Ate lunch. Played video games. Ate dinner. Watched more TV. Slept.")
2) a rambling list of complaints and whines (see the first couple of paragraphs of this blog)
3) a rambling list of all the crap I'm doing (see most of the blog posts I've done since I moved down here)
4) a rambling list of sage advice that everyone already knows ("Man...you should just...y'know...follow your dreams! Then you'll be happy!)

I want to talk honestly, but I want to be entertaining too. I want to talk about what I'm doing, but I don't want this to just be an "Update Station." Hell, I'm not even sure what I want. (sigh) Maybe I should just let Frenchy handle the blogging from here on out.


You rang!?! LOL!!!!