Day 19 -- Rome, Italy

We got ready quickly and left just as quickly today – satisfying "Rome not Room." It was our bonus day – something that'd worked pretty well for us in the previous cities. There was no real "set" list of sites to see, just a general course, and some "Steeves Recommended" sites.

Our first stop, oddly enough, was McDonalds. We'd avoided all "American Culture" like the plague in our time in Europe…but the promise of good old fashioned American Coffee was just too tempting to pass up. I tried (and failed) to convince Erika that a Quarter-Pounder would also do us good. Erika shot that down, dawgonnit. I mean, sure, we were off the "healthy eating plan" for our trip to Europe…but…there were limits…

Directly across from the McDonalds was another in a long line of the Catholic Church's civic improvements – they'd changed yet another pagan building into a church. This one was a bathhouse until Michelangelo got his green nunchuck'd hands on it (that was a Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles joke for all y'all under 30 to enjoy), and turned it into an awesome church to God…but specifically Saint Maria. It also functions as a sundial…so it's got that going for it too. It was big and old…just how I like my Roman buildings.

The next spot on our itinerary was "St. Theresa in Ecstasy" at the "Santa Maria Della Vittoria." But when we arrived, a guy was locking the front door. Unfortunately many of the cathedrals in Rome are closed from 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM (because God has to eat lunch – it's union rules). So we delayed that visit and headed up north to the Villa Borghese (which is Rome's version of Central Park) to have a picnic lunch.

Now…Villa Borghese is no Englisher Garden…but it was all right. It was very "Roman" in its appeal – dirty, very few benches, no trashcans, no bathrooms, and a fine layer of dust covering everything…

But it had that crusty appeal that we were getting used to. Eventually we found a bench, and we were immediately set upon by a lone pigeon. Pigeons in mass are irritating, but single pigeons make for a delightful little "sharing" experience. I named him "Dodo," because that's what he told me his name was. Romans seem to love bread crusts, and they try to make it as dry and inedible as possible – so we threw a chunk of our crusty sandwich bread to Dodo, and he spent the rest of our lunch trying to break it apart. After failing miserably, he got frustrated, and waddled away indignantly. Or maybe he was just a pigeon, and he decided to leave.

Our final destination was up north. Way the hell north. Like…two miles north of our hotel, through the "populated" areas of Rome, where the "people who live in Rome" live.

Here we hit our second big ol' Roman park – the Villa Something-or-other. This was where the fabled "Catacombe di Priscilla" was located. See, after being somewhat disappointed by the cleanliness of the Vatican Crypts, we wanted an authentic, dirty, stinky, decomposing catacomb deep under the earth to wrap our heads around…and the Catacombs of Priscilla were it.

However, we couldn't find the damn place. Our map said that the entrance was at the northern tip, inside the Villa Something-or-other," but we traversed the entire park, and the northern tip held, not a catacomb, but some kind of military base. After wandering for a good 30 minutes, we found the entrance…outside the park…in a non-descript stucco building with a graffiti-pocked wall and barred windows.

We entered, and found out that that it was another "guided tour" – apparently you could get lost forever in the miles of catacombs if you were to "go it alone," so they made you follow a guide. Our arrival just happened to coincide with the arrival of one of those "tour groups" that we'd come to loath, and it was comprised (mostly) of Germans…with a few Italians and Brits thrown in for good measure. All-in-all, our group numbered about 30 people.

Which was a pretty big number to stuff in those narrow catacomb corridors. Now, I feel like I've been crapping all over some of the monuments in Rome (St. Peter's Basilica was a crowded cathedral to excess, the forum was a bunch of decaying ancient Roman buildings, Villa Borghese was a dump, the Tiber was boring and polluted), so, keeping in that spirit, I'm now going to crap on the Catacombs a little bit.

Not really. Actually, they were fairly cool…literally and figuratively. It was a kick to be cruising around, about 30 feet underground, looking at tombs that dated back to the early days of Christendom.

Except the problem is, the graves didn't have any bodies in them (they'd all been exhumed in the "martyr craze" of the early 19^th century by amateur Christian archeologists looking for relics). Add that to the too-large crowd huddled around our "heavily Italian accented" guide, and the catacombs underwhelmed. I suppose with a smaller group, and a more lively tour guide they could have been much cooler…but…as it was, they were just "a'ight."

So we walked the two miles back into town…and caught the "Theresa in Ecstasy" sculpture that we'd missed earlier. I can see why Dan Brown featured that sculpture in his book Angels and Demons – it was one of the coolest statues I'd seen on the trip. And, if you've got a dirty mind, you can see how it could be interpreted as a bit "ribald."

Our last stop before dinner was the Capuchin Crypts – the drink "Cappuccino" was named after the color of the Capuchin Monks' dark brown robes. Their other claim to fame is the fact that the Order decorated their crypt with the bones of 3,000 deceased monks (and a few laypersons thrown in for good measure). The latter was what brought us to the crypt – it was time to get macabre.

And, I must say, the crypt was maybe the coolest thing I saw in all of Rome. There were only 6 little rooms, but each one was lined with rib bones, pelvises, thoraxes, vertebrae…you name a bone, and it was dangling from the wall somewhere. They seemed to love that little bone, with the holes in it, that attaches to the back of the pelvis. It looks like a flower…or a crazy bug of some kind.

But I really liked the plaque at the end: "What you are, we once were. What we are now, you will be." I wish we could have stayed longer, but they were closing down...and we were getting pretty hungry…

We decided that we wanted pizza (well…Erika decided, and I shrugged in meek compliance). Good old fashioned Italian pizza, in a Piazza. We chose the Piazza Navona…because we'd seen several good candidates in our multiple treks through the square…

Out in front of practically every restaurant in Rome is a display of the restaurant's "menu." We were minding our business…looking at a couple of different menus…when, as we were perusing a menu out front of a restaurant, we were set upon by the restaurant's "host," who gave us a sales pitch.

"You are looking for a dinner tonight, yes?"

"Yep."

"Well, you must look no further. We have homemade pasta here. The best in Rome."

"You have pizza?"

"Yes, we have pizza, wine, cheese. Whatever you like. We get you a seat right on the Piazza – look how busy we are. Everyone want to eat here, because we are the best."

We looked around – they did seem to be the busiest restaurant in the square.

"You must eat here. Here, I give you a glass of champagne, gratis." He retreated to his "champagne table" and poured us two glasses.

Well…we'd been hooked. We couldn't turn down the generous offer of free champagne, and no one else seemed so intent on attracting our business…so we took a seat…right next to the Piazza.

We split a pizza, a plate of ravioli, and a half-bottle of wine (no more wine headaches for us). Finishing up, we indulged in our nightly desert in Rome – gelato on a cone – then headed back to our room to work on our crossword puzzle and (eventually) sleep. In fact, one sure-fire way to get Erika to sleep is to put a pen in one hand, and a crossword puzzle in the other. Don't believe me? Here's a video that I thought you might enjoy…

Erika's Sleepy

Ironically, the book she fell asleep reading was the "Sleepy Sunday" New York Times Crossword Puzzle Book...hee hee...

So…that happened. And, like a dutiful husband, I videotaped it for your enjoyment. After that awesome bit of humiliation, I took off her glasses, tucked her into our "musty" bed, and snuggled up next to her for a good night of sleep. We leave tomorrow…with mixed emotions. We're both longing to get home, but (save for one night in a sleeper car), this is our last night in Europe. We're both a little homesick…and exhausted…but it's been a hell of a trip. Great food…amazing, historic sights…and some exquisite company – my wife been the perfect traveling companion…and I couldn't imagine not sharing this experience with her.

Anyhow, our final traveling day is a two-fer – one night on a train, followed by a race across Paris to catch our flight, ending with a 14 hour plane ride home. Let's hope everything works as planned – I'm worried that there's too much stuff that could go wrong. But…what's a trip to Europe without some kind of traveling snafu, right? Until then…