Four Bullies (Part 1)

I have a problem.

Wait, let me back up a second.

I have an "issue." My issue is this: I really don't like with how most writers treat the issue of "bullying." It's a super-popular topic that you will see in any show or movie set in a school of some kind, but it's very rarely done well, in my opinion.

Now, I was not picked on excessively in school -- I can remember four bullies that I had to deal with at some point in my school career (I eventually became friendly with three of the four -- the fourth one either dropped out or moved away or died...). But I think I learned a thing or two about bullying in that time, and now, when I watch movies or TV shows that handle the topic of the "school bully" or "picking on the nerds" I get annoyed -- it's never quite right. Freaks and Geeks did a pretty good job, but there was still too much of that corny "name-calling," "book-slapping," and "locker-door-slamming" bullcrap that really doesn't happen in real life (from what I've observed).

A little background before I dive in. I did not run with the "popular" crowd in high school. I didn't run with the "nerd" crowd either. If I had to describe my high school clique, it would something along the lines of "the smart-asses." My best friends in high school were intelligent guys who really just enjoyed making fun of everything -- kind of hard to classify, really. I was friendly with all kinds, but the ones I would actually hang with were, for the most part, nihilistic jokers.

Now, personally I had all the makings of a nerd. I got good grades. I was heavily involved in band and theater. I played D&D (secretly) every weekend. I tucked my shirts into my jeans, and parted my hair to the side. I drove a moped to school. And (generally) I had more friends that were "nerds" than "jocks." Finally, (with one notable exception) I did not play team sports.

But I managed to avoid antagonism, for the most part. I never had to worry about getting beaten up, or teased, or any of the crap that I know some other kids went through. I managed to get through pretty cleanly...except for these four different bullies.

First up was Ronnie (name changed because at least one person reading this will know who I'm talking about). Now, Ronnie was my best friend Eric's neighbor, and we used to regularly play basketball in his back yard (because his house featured a basketball court). Ronnie was a year older than me, and about a foot shorter (he was Filipino)...but, while he was friendly with Eric, he never really warmed up to me. I think he may have sensed that I was not "cool," and, consequently, needed to be taught a lesson as to my proper social position. So Ronnie went out of his way to embarrass me at every opportunity -- especially when I'd play basketball (because I was terrible). He'd also make fun of me when I'd talk, never really directly insulting me, but more mocking the tone of my voice, or repeating a stutter, or little things like that. But his barbs were mainly just words -- sarcastic taunts and insults -- with one notable exception.

Things with Ronnie went bad during one of our regular games of basketball. I was in the fifth grade (I think), which would have made Ronnie a sixth grader. Now, my typical tactic in basketball was to hang out near the rim and try to block incoming shots, or rebound misses (because I was tall). As I recall there were probably something like six of us playing that day. Now, because I was terrible at basketball, and because Ronnie was so short (but very good at basketball), at one point during the game he drove the lane and I accidentally fouled him. For some reason this foul made Ronnie go ballistic, and he started screaming at me as I walked to the other end of the court. When I turned around he had taken some kind of "karate" stance and was bounding toward me menacingly.

I didn't quite know what to do -- I wasn't sure if he was just trying to scare me -- so I started backpedaling away. But as Ronnie closed the distance he jumped up and kicked me hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I doubled over in pain and wheezed for a minute in the middle of the basketball court. Once I caught my breath, I staggered out of his yard to the sidewalk.

Now this still kinda' bugs me to this day. What I should have done was one of two things -- either said "fuck this" and walked home with my dignity, or gone back in and got myself into a proper fist-fight. But, instead, I think I stood outside of his back-yard fence for a bit and cried. And after a couple minutes of that I went back to the basketball court and finished the game...as if the jump-kick had never taken place.

This bit of violence put an uneasy end to whatever relationship I had with Ronnie...and probably did a good bit of damage to my friendship with Eric (which eventually dissolved completely by the 7th grade). But I never really got harassed by Ronnie after he kicked me that day. Maybe he felt bad about it. Maybe he'd just made his point. Either way, he pretty much left me alone for the rest of the school year.

Now our school bus stop was in front of Ronnie's house, and I used to wait on the sidewalk every day (while Eric, Ronnie, and some other "cool" neighborhood kids waited in his warm house until the bus showed up). One day, for whatever reason, I was invited inside...and for the next two years, before the bus came, I'd sit and chat with the other guys inside until it was time to board. It wasn't much, but it was a friendly gesture from a guy who, I thought, didn't like me at all.

I kinda' lost track of Ronnie after that, as I made different friends and moved on in my life. I'm not sure if he stayed a little pissed-off kid, or if he settled down and found another direction in life. But I think his particular brand of bullying arose from the fact that he recognized I was trying to hang out with the cool kids, and I didn't belong. He made it his mission in life to teach me a social life lesson...which...by the time I reached Junior High...I had learned pretty well. Hell, the only reason I was trying to be "cool" in the first place was so I could hang out with Eric -- I wasn't really interested in any of the perks of "popularity." I just wanted to keep my friend.

But it was not to be. As Eric got cooler and cooler, I became less and less popular, and we lost touch in Junior High. So it goes...

Now, I just realized that this blog is going to run a bit long...so I'll cap this off here for now. I'm sure people are like "Ooh! Tyler posted a new blog entry!" Then when they see how long it is they're like, "Hmm...I don't have time to read all of this crap." And they'll close the window and move on. So...to avoid this, I'll cover bullies 2, 3, and 4 in my next three blog entries.