Coming to Los Angeles Part 1: Managing Expectations

So, you've decided to move to Los Angeles to pursue your movie career, eh? Sweet! I'm proud of you. You've officially become a cliché. Might as well get used to it now.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Hell, I did the same damn thing in 2008, knowing full well that I was following in the hallowed footsteps of previous millions of deluded souls. "But I'm going to be different," I thought...which is the same thing that every actor thought when they moved.

Am I different? Well, I'm certainly older now, definitely much wiser, and while I'm not a household name, I think I've done fairly well for myself. I'm proud of my accomplishments. Could I have accomplished more? Sure. Did I miss opportunities? Oh hell yes. Tons. Did I play far too many video games when I should have been writing scripts or practicing my craft? Absolutely. But everyone makes mistakes. Everyone procrastinates. Everyone wastes time. It's inevitable. You will too...I promise...and if you let it get you down, it'll break you.

The important thing to remember is that the odds are against you. I know you've heard that before, and you'll hear that many more times from many different people...but it's a very important lesson. In all likelihood, you're not going to achieve the success you dream about, and think you deserve. You're not. Quiet that "BUT I'M DIFFERENT" voice for a second and just let that sink it. It's very unlikely. Not only will you not be cast in movies and TV shows, you won't even be able to audition for them. In fact, you won't even be able to see the agents who could possibly send you to those auditions. You'll be shut out, with no one to help you in a cold, uncaring world. It's unfair, and if you don't like it, you really out to look into another line of work.

In fact, your quest to even get into a big theatrical casting director's office (one that casts prime time TV shows or big budget movies) could easily take years. That's "years" with an "s." Not weeks. Not months. Years. Multiple years. It took me a year and a half. Some of my friends are still trying.

Don't believe me? Look at the IMDb profile of your favorite celebrity. Who is it? Brad Pitt? He moved to Los Angeles in 1986. He worked odd jobs, had a few "background" gigs in 1987, had a short recurring role on Dallas in 1988, got a few more TV roles in 1989 & 1990, then in 1991 he did Thelma & Louise. And the rest is history. What does it mean? It took Brad Pitt, one of the most famous actors in Hollywood, five years to get his first substantial role. Five. And he's Brad Pitt. You? You're not Brad Pitt. You might think you are, but you're not...I promise. It's going to be a thankless, tedious, trying journey...no matter what your background is.

So that's the reality. Of course, things were different in the 1990s. Everyone was coked up, a studio actually greenlit the hit movie "Stop or my Mom will Shoot", and if you were persistent enough, you were rewarded with at least some kind of look from some studio executive who wanted to discover the "next Brad Pitt."

Now, things are different. Everyone thinks that if they're tenacious, hardworking, and super-duper talented, they can get their foot in the door. But you can't any more. The myth of the "actor discovered at a grocery store" is just that. A myth. Utter fabrication, and Hollywood Legend. Even the supremely untalented (but gorgeous) stars that started very young, like Denise Richards (graduated from a Los Angeles high school in 1989, did Starship Troopers in 1997) or Paul Walker (graduated from a Los Angeles high school in 1991, did Fast and the Furious in 2001) worked at their careers for almost a decade before their "big break."

So if you think you'll be starring in a sitcom, or a big-budget movie within a year of moving to Los Angeles...I hate to break it to you, but you're wrong. You'd have better luck just investing that money you'd be wasting during the move in lottery tickets, then producing your own TV show with the earnings. I mean, sure, there are examples of overnight success...but usually it's an illusion (overnight success actually takes years of thankless work), or it's incredibly short-lived (this is where most child actors reside, unfortunately). But in both cases, it no doubt involves a tremendous amount of hard work (or dumb luck) on the part of the actor.

I personally witnessed two stories of actors who had immediate success when they moved down to Los Angeles, followed by a whole lot of frustration. One is a friend my wife and I met at a casting director workshop named Joane. When she moved here, within two months she'd booked a costar role (industry term for "small television role with limited screen time") on the show Criminal Minds. Two years later? Criminal Minds is still her one only legitimate credit.

Another one is from a friend-of-a-friend named Nastassja. She moved to Los Angeles, and my friend asked me to send an e-mail with advice. Later, our friend informed us, "Looks like she didn't need your advice after all; she booked a TV show." Come to find out that, lo and behold, she'd booked a costar role on Criminal Minds within weeks of arriving (TIP: familiarize yourself with the casting associate of Criminal Minds -- his name is Scott David, and if he's ever teaching a casting workshop near you, you would be well-advised to take it...because he will call you in to audition if he likes you, regardless of whether you have an agent and/or any credits...which makes him very rare). However, a year-and-a-half later, Criminal Minds is still Nastassja's only legitimate TV or film credit.

Whereas my wife Erika, God bless her, worked her tail off for two years...taking casting workshops, getting headshots, sending out mailings, interning, doing theater, doing everything in her power to get into the room. And she did, eventually. She had several auditions for several different shows, but did not book them. Finally, two years after she arrived in Los Angeles, she booked a costar on The Mentalist, for a casting director she'd seen a year prior to that audition.

Every actor has a different path to success. You might get lucky like Joane and Nastassja...or you might finally break through after years of toil like Erika. Or you might not get any auditions at all, years after you arrived in LA. Everyone's different, and you can't expect any kind of success. Hope for it, want it, prepare for it, work for it...but don't expect it.

Now I hope you don't think I'm just being bitter. "Mehrgh, I didn't have success, so you won't either! BEHHHHH!!!" I'm not. I promise. I'm quite happy with the level of success I've achieved. Would I like to achieve more success? Of course. But I'm being realistic, which can easily be mistaken for "pessimistic." There are a whole lot of people who think they can achieve their dreams and goals solely through stubbornness and sheer force of will. There's a whole industry of self-help books that tell you this, over and over and over and over. Don't get me wrong -- all of those things are very helpful, but they will not be enough for you to make it in Los Angeles...because there are literally a million actors who feel the same way, read the same books, and are actually more stubborn than you are. And you'll find out that only a tiny fraction of them actually achieve all of their lofty goals. A tiny, tiny, tiny fraction.

I don't say this to discourage you. Trust me, I'm your biggest fan (because you're reading the words I've written). I just want to honestly prepare you for just a small piece of the professional disappointment, heartache, and frustration that will surely greet you when you land in Los Angeles. You will experience it too. Everyone experiences it, from the hugest failure, to the most surprising success story. And whatever your expectations are, lower them. Even if you think they're very modest, lower them. Sure, go ahead and set lofty goals for yourself; that's fine. But don't expect to meet any of them soon.

But don't take my word for it. Let the Piano Man limit your expectations in his own magically musical way:

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you