Doncha' think?

I tried to fix Alanis Morissette's seminal hit "Ironic," by making it so the lyrics are actually demonstrating "irony."

I think it went pretty well. I completely ignored meter and rhyme...because I'm bad-ass and punk rock like that.


An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery, and his name was "Yung Poorman."
It's a black fly in your "Black Fly Winery" Chardonnay.
It's a death row pardon for a member of "Death Row Records."
And isn't it ironic...don't you think?

It's like rain on Raine Wilson's wedding day
It's a free ride for a toll booth worker
It's the good advice from a convicted felon
Who would've thought it figures?

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
But when he got to the airport, he found out
They had placed his name on a no-fly list.
And isn't it ironic...don't you think?

It's like rain on Raine Wilson's wedding day
It's a free ride for a toll booth worker
It's the good advice from a convicted felon
Who would've thought it figures?

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face.

A traffic jam caused by a jackknifed trailer carrying strawberry jam
A no-smoking sign at the headquarters of Phillip Morris
It's like ten thousand spoons found in the city of Forks
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And finding out we're related.
And isn't it ironic...don't you think?
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on Raine Wilson's wedding day
It's a free ride for a toll booth worker
It's the good advice from a convicted felon
Who would've thought...it figures?

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.