Whelp, apparently I ate less than an hour ago. Whoops! Must have been the after-dinner nap I took! Felt like a slept FOREVER! Like I'm Rip Van Frenchy! LOL!
Well, I tell you what, this has been a CRAZZZY couple of months for your good friend Frenchy! Guess what happened!?!!? You'll never guess!!! Chicken BUTT!!! Wait, I think I did that wrong. Anyhow, Tyler and Erika (I call them "The Ones That Feed Me" for short) abandoned us for what seemed like 900 years! I swear, one morning I'm resting comfortably on my back in the hallway, I wake up, go to the kitchen expecting a nice dinner of Mixed Grill cat food, and...boy, I must have waited for somewhere close to 900 years! Finally, for some reason, the handsome guy with the black hair woke me up and fed me. Talk about SHOCKING! Who is that guy, anyways? LOL!
So yeah, this continued for at least a good 900 years...always with the same pattern. Either the good looking guy or his good looking wife would feed me over the next 900 years while my real owners were away. It took a little getting used to (my guess -- I was okay with it after about 900 years), but eventually I plum forgot about those two people who used to feed me.
Finally, shockingly, THEY RETURNED!!! I was napping at the foot of the bed one morning, when lo and behold, they came in carrying two interesting bags which I suddenly became very interested in climbing on, and digging my claws into!!! Well, things returned to normal pretty quickly, which is good, because I'm a creature of habit. Or, as I like to call it, "Cat-bit." Hmm...that doesn't quite work, does it. Oh well!!! LOL!!!
But this isn't to say that I've been resting on my furry laurels! No siree, I've been getting pretty serious about breaking into this "acting" business. I mean...just THINK about it! Who was the last famous cat actor you can think of?!?! Bela Lugosi? NOPE!!! He wasn't a cat, he was a HUMAN! Man, and Tyler calls ME stupid! LOL!!!
Well, before my owners (like you can even own a Frenchy...for reals!!!) left, they spent about 900 years reading these little green and yellow books...and talking to each other while holding these books. Took me some time to figure it out (about half of 900 years...whatever that is), but I finally realized that they were MEMORIZING LINES!!! Now, me personally, the last thing I memorized was the quickest path from my sleeping basket to the LITTER BOX (HINT: it's through the bedroom door). But, being as I'm trying to take this thing a little more seriously, I tried my hand at MEMORIZING!!! Chikkity-check-check-check, check it out!!!!
Here's me, doing what I do best: napping with my mouth open.
No TV for me, please! I've got some READING to do!!!
Man...it was actually pretty tough to focus for a while there.
A little too tough. It was high time for a CAT NAP!!! LOL!!!
But I tell you what was really tough?! Getting past that COPYRIGHT page!!! Boy oh boy...those are some BIG OL' WORDS!!!
My angsty ACTOR pose!!! Look at me really FEELING my emotion!!!
Boy, all that FEELING was enough to make a cat TIRED!!!
All this memorizing is making me crazy!!! CRAAAAAAAZY!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Just because I'm memorizing, doesn't mean I will neglect my BASIC HYGIENE!!!
Do you MIND?! I'm taking a BATH here!!! LOL!!!
Hey, who's THAT guy? What is this, a public bath?!?!
That's IT!!! I've HAD IT with these M******ING SCRIPTS ON THIS M*******ING BED!!!!! LOL!!!!
As you can plainly see, maybe I'm just not cut out for the "actor's" wacky lifestyle. Plus, I'm not entirely sure I can READ!!! I don't know...I'll have to remember to ask Doody about that...after I take a nap! LOL!!!
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