Blog Rhymes with Frog

That actually reminds me...I don't like how the word "Rhythm" is spelled. I will be completely honest with you; it offends me. Therefore, I offer you an alternative to rhythm: "rithum." That looks like the name of a drug. "In labortory studies, repeated use of Rithum may lead to involuntary seizures, and bleeding from the pores on your left shoulder. If you experience any of the above serious side effects, stop taking Rithum and seek emergency medical attention or contact your doctor immediately. And the Rithum is going to get you."

But I haven't blogged at y'all for a while. But now I understand...I was such a fool. I knew in my mind that I was going to be different from that other Tyler Rhoades on MySpace (not the one from Namibia, the 17 year old dude from Texas who proudly states " IF U WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT ME JUST CALL OR TEXT ME AT 903-348-3445." You're a disgrace to all of the much cooler Tylers out there, Tyler), who hasn't even posted a single blog entry. "Tyler," I thought humbly to myself, "You're not much to look at. If you're going to have a crack at random girls sending you messages with a subject line reading: 'Hi,' you have got to get your write on."

But here I am, a failure, prostrating myself before your humble graces. I did not honor my commitment to wrote long words like "commitment" on a daily, or even weekly basis. My last entry was December 14th, and I...have...failed...you. Forgive me.

But, I did change my picture. Look! It's me getting hit by a BEAR! HA ha HA HA HA!!! Boy, if that doesn't make you double over with laughter, then you, my friend, are filled with marbles. MARBLES!!!

On a side note, for all of you high-school buddies I have out there, aren't you all pissed that no one from our class turned out gay? That just blows my freaking mind...it's all "Orientation: Straight" across the board. Disappointed, for sure...Greg Madrid, if you're out there, you need a MySpace account. Because, I've always wondered...

Gosh, that sounded mildly homophobic, didn't it? Please don't be offended...or actually, you know what, be offended. Come to my house, and egg it. I'll even give you my phone number: 903-348-3445 I dare you to come to my house, and kick my ass...or at least prank call me. I cry very easily. My God, I love those DAMN SMILY FACE THINGS! THEY MAKE WRITING SO MUCH EASIER!!! Bwahh!!!

As promised, some damn fine lyrics, compliments of the amazing David Hasslehoff...off his hit single "Du"

Du bist alles, was ich habe auf der welt,
Du bist alles, was ich will.
Du, du allein kannst mich versteh’n,
Du, du darfst nie mehr von mir geh’n.

Which means:

You are everything that I have in the world
You are everything that I want
You, you alone can understand me
You, you may never go from me

Poetry...goddamn Poetry...