Friend Drive, 2007

There are a couple of remarkable milestones that one reaches on this "Space" of "My." 1,000 page veiws. 50 blog posts. 100 comments. 10+ picture comments. And I am perched; ready to go screaming past my next milestone. 100 friends. Booyah.

How did I get 97 friends you ask? I'll tell you -- but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even your sister. All right? Good. Here goes:

» Friend Tactic #1: Everyone I knew that had a cool name got tacked onto my burgeoning friend list.

» Friend Tactic #2: Family members. But, since Meaghan is the only member of my family that is my Myspace friend, this tactic wasn't too successful. Still, invaluable, really...for the cousin that seems to be constantly knocking on death's door.

» Friend Tactic #3: Anyone I can remember who asked me to be their friend I approved. This does not include people like Diana here, who is in all probability a dude in an office somewhere who is just praying that you click on the "Want to see my PICTURES" link on his/her profile (don't click on the link -- it's probably a virus of some kind, and I don't want to be blamed for breaking your computer). God bless the persistant pornographers out there -- without them, ladies would never take off their clothes for money.

» Friend Tactic #4: Veiled threats. And I think it'd be in your best interest to never bring up that tactic again, all right?

» Friend Tactic #5: The fake accounts I created, using pictures of hot women, and adding them to my friends list. Like this little hottie. I mean, c'mon, do you think someone that hot would ever even give me the time of day?

And that's about it. I'm assuming I'll breach 100 any day now, and I'm looking forward to that. Heck, I hope my 100th friend is a really super friend, not one of those guys who comes over to my house, clubs me over the back with a tire iron, and steals all of my Playstation 2 games. Who the hell are those guys, anyway? Friends? Sure...but they have a funny way of showing it.

Well, wish me luck. And to all the 97 currently on the list I say: "HI! If any of you drop me as your friend, I find you and steal your FRONT DOOR!" Hmm...that wasn't very veiled, was it...?