Worst Things To Wake Up To

Well, I guess "screaming" would probably be the worst thing to wake up to. Actually, there are quite a few things I can think of that would be horrible to wake up to -- zombies, an intruder in the house, a phone ringing at 3:00 in the morning, the business end of a gun...and so on.

But this morning, I had an experience that would at least be top 15...maybe top 30. I woke up to a scrabbling noise, then searing pain across the left side of my face. I shall explain. First, the perp:

Yep...the scrabbling was this little devil bastard trying to climb onto my headboard at 5:00 in the morning. Next, the crime scene:

That's me...chillin' (like I do) on my comfy bed...chiseled, muscled arms all cradling my massive brain-cage. Finally, the crime.

So this goddamn cat (let's call him "Frenchy," because that's his goddamn name) decided that he was curious about what was on top of our headboard -- a place he has never been before. So he decided, at 5:00 in the morning, to investigate. Well, being the stupid, uncoordinated cat that he was, he failed, and (stupid claws extended), landed on my face...more specifically my eyelid...most specifically, my left lower eyelid.

Now I have a really freakish-looking puncture wound under my left eye that's going to be there for, oh, a good couple of weeks or so...becuase as anyone who has ever had a cat scratch knows, those marks refuse to go away. That's one of the main reasons why it's why I gave up "kicking the crap out of cats" 5 years ago (though, really, I can feel the old urge rising up in me again).

So, if you chance to see me, and if you chance to be curious just what exactly the red thing under my eye is. Now you know.