A Grand Old Flag

I'm going to admit something to you all right now…and you might not think too highly of me when I'm done, but it's something I felt I should share.

Back in the day, I had an Almanac from 1988:

And I tell you what, I freaking loved that dang book. It had all of these neat little charts, facts…it had a description of every country in the world…a sweet index that you could use to find statistics or information…and…most sexily, it had a color section with the flag from every nation in the world! Curious what Trinidad and Tobago's flag looked like? Well, look no further than your trusty ol' Almanac, friends. Oh…and by the way, it looks like this:

Now, I tell you all this, because I think I found my least favorite flag of all time. Worse than the "I surrender" flag and the "Ukrainian" flag put together

That's right. I present to you, the worst flag ever created. Libya.

No, I didn't accidentally paste a green "MS Paint" square on my blog. Nope…the freaking Libyan flag…the one that all of Libya prays to every night (same as any true American prays to the American flag). A square of green. When I found this out, I was so mad that I ripped off my white t-shirt, Hulkster style.

So, thirsting for answers, I did the only research that someone in this day in age has to do to find any answer in the world. I typed "Flag of Libya" into the Wikipedia search field (by the way...WHERE THE HECK WAS WIKIPEDIA WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL! CURSE YOU YOUNGIN'S AND YOUR EASY CHEATING METHODS!!!). What I found was heartbreaking.

Before 1977, Libya used to have a freaking awesome flag…with a bunch of cool colors (like BLACK!), and a freaking eagle in the middle of it.

Heck, had I seen this awesome flag, I'd have put it right up there with Kiribati (which has an awesome soaring golden seagull) and Dominica (which has the coolest bird motif ever, with a PURPLE AND GREEN RED-EYED EVIL PARROT!!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!!!)

But, of course, Qa??--f--/Gaddafi/???? ??????? (FYI -- that hyphenated section used to have the awesome-looking squiggly charactered letters...but now it just has dashes and question marks...and a weird link that I can't remove...which is, I believe, equally awesome) had to come to power, and screw up a good thing. Of all the evil things that man has done, I think his gravest crime against humanity may have been the adoption of a green square for a flag. I know that's controversial…but…I'm just sayin'…

If you couldn't tell, the fact that I have all this time to write about flags means only one thing…I didn't magically get cast as the lead in a feature film. Sorry to disappoint. Actually, last week was pretty brutal for both myself and Erika, as we were traversing L.A. County (and some of Orange County) in search of an acting gig…be it extra work, student film, or Ireland-based Sprite commercial. All for naught, though…we're all still waiting for our first paid booking that didn't involve the words "background actor." I'll let you know when that happens…but until then, check out all them flags of the world here, and maybe you choose a favorite. Or don't. Either way…

By the way, my favorite? Nepal! I mean…c'mon…the audacity to have a flag THAT'S NOT EVEN FLAG-SHAPED! And then to throw some dang stars and a moon on it?! Awesome!