I Really Use Ellipses Far Too Often...

Not that it's a huge problem, or anything...because that's how I think; with these nasty triple-periods that look like a mix of "cancer" and "incest." I don't know, I've tried to wean myself off of them, but I just end up being "Mr. Semi-Colon Man," and semi-colons look even worse...sort of a cross of cabbage and teenage angst.

But I've been thinking a lot today. Twice, actually...right around 5:40 PM. And I thought to myself, I thought, "Hey, Tyler," I thought, "Just what are you trying to accomplish here. What is this 'blog' all about? Do you mean to waste everyone's time here? Why do you do this...does this amuse you? Whoa! That tree looks pretty climb-able...you think you could shimmy up there? Let's do it!" Then I climbed the tree...somewhere around 5:42 PM. But I couldn't get down, so Erika had to call the fire department. They showed up, but their ladder was broken...so they just threw rocks at me until I fell onto the sidewalk. They were cool, though. One of the guys let me wear his helmet for a while...

But I didn't really know what to do when I started here...it's all a shapeless, random, "absolutely hilarious" (I'm not quoting anyone there, I've just always wanted to be described as "absolutely hilarious" by someone) mess. Some people want to tell you about how their day was going...and that's all well and good, but my days are never very interesting. Something like, "I woke up crying...then I took a shower...then I got out and started crying again...then I got back to bed and did a bunch of acid. That pretty much knocked me out for the rest of the day." No one wants to hear about my life...frankly, I don't even want to hear about it. I'm really considering just whaling on that "backspace" key until it all vanishes. But I won't...because I'm still kinda' tweaking on that acid. I'm either typing on a computer right now, or I'm under my bed fiddling with an empty bottle of Erika's "sweet smellin'" hand lotion. It's hard to separate reality from "acid reality" at this point. Forgive me.

Then there are some blogs that discuss a trip the person recently took. I tried that once...but all of my vacations just end up with me crying at some point...and I haven't been able to type out a good cry since I started this thing. Here's the closest I've come: "Bwuahaaahaa haaaaa...." I know...not very effective.

Some blogs like to make political statements. I shy away from that, because I've always seen "Talking about politics" as being the same as "Digging a hole in the back yard." I mean, it's great...it's fun...it'll get you dirty and sweaty...but in the end, you'll never be able to dig a hole deep enough to bury your guilt...or your seasonal tulip bulb...or Aaron Carter.

Finally, there are the blogs that try to be "funny." I don't prescribe to that type of blogging, because what I do is not rooted in "comedy," it's actually a desperate cry for both A) attention, and B) money.

This will be my 38th blog posting...but I still don't have a unifying theme. I mean, what if the day comes when I have to name this blog. Something like the classics "Bellowing at the Void," or "Avoiding the Noid," or "Null and Void Noid," or "Boyd Avoids Noids, while Lloyd Asks Floyd About Steroids, Hemorrhoids, and Rape."

But to name my blog? I don't think I could do it at this point. Not that I'm pretentious or anything...and I need the perfect name. But right now, it's just this mess of boring, repetitive, random japes and jibes about this, that, 'n' the other.

Oh, actually, I kinda' like that. "Japes and Jibes." Sweet. JapesAndJibes.com isn't taken yet. It's even got its own sweet acronym: JAJ. Excellent. Well, until next time, here's a fantastically long ellipses: ............................................................................................

Look! There's a book called "Japes" with boobies on it! Boobies!!!!