Lifestyles of the Out of Focus

So the four of us signed up with a little company called "Central Casting." They are, according to them, the 1 Background Casting Agency in Los Angeles. This is because we need two things now that we're here: money, and a SAG card. Central Casting offers the opportunity for both…though the money is a pithy $62 for an 8 hour day, and the SAG card only comes after you manage to collect 3 vouchers (which are rarely offered to non-union actors). But it's a chance, at least – I'm not getting any farther in my carrer playing Xbox and fighting the myriad viruses attacking my frail body.

Now, once we got there, and filled out the paperwork, and waited in line, we got a chance to have our digital photo taken by a professional for a scant $25 (because, as we all know, it costs about $25 to take a picture with a digital camera). But it was here that I got my first little precious L.A. actor moment. The photographer's assistant (the one who took my money) asked me if I work out.

"Um…yes. I do."

"Great, well, sometimes we do shoots on the beach, and we need people who have beach-friendly bodies. Could I get you to lift up your shirt?"

"Well, I'm not toned or anything," is what I caution as I'm lifting up my t-shirt and polo.

"No, that's fine. We just need normal looking people…everyday people." My shirt has been raised to my chin. "Oh, you look great! That'd work perfect. Just go ahead and take off the shirt and put it on the chair over there."

I do as I'm told, and they take a (what I'm sure is) very sexy picture of me…sans shirt. Now, don't get me wrong…there was no humiliation here at all. One of the questions they asked on the registration form was "Are you willing to do nude work?" I was the only one in our little household that marked "Yes" on that line (because, heck, if anyone wants to see a naked me, then it's their problem, not mine). It seemed like one of those horror stories that you hear about…where the actor is pressured to do something he/she doesn't want…which I thought was just awesome (they didn't ask that of Erika and Lindsay, for those of you who were curious).

So now that we're in the system, we have to call a hotline to see if there are any extras needed around town. We let the "casting director" know that we're interested, and if we fit the bill they send us out to the location, and we get our $64. I figure, at that rate, I'd have to work about 20 days a week to earn the basic "per monthum" that I've allowed myself. Of course, that's not realistic, as exactly two jobs that I'm eligible for have been posted, and I've booked exactly zero. But, maybe once this blasted strike ends, extra work may be enough to stretch out what remains of my savings. Fingers crossed.