Holy Crap, I Just Blogged Myself

(originally posted October 6, 2005)

So, I think I may have just made the most important decision in my life. See...I was looking at the four fonts...and I always thought Times New Roman was the worst font that God ever created. I'm pretty sure God created Times New Roman right before he invented herpes, and Antonin Scalia. So, that was out right away. And Courier New is about as interesting as getting kicked in the side of the head, so I won't even go into a discussion about that. Plus, I think all font types with more than one word are racist.

That left me with Verdana or Arial. Now, this was a choice that I don't think Sophie herself could have even made. It's like chosing between Mark Ruffalo and Mark Wahlberg! Or Granny Smith apples and Fuji!!! Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some Arial. In fact, I think I had my first kiss while I was typing with an Arial font (Narrow, I believe). But, Verdana won the day. I'm not sure if it was the pseudo-Italian undertones, or the fact that it started with the letter "V." But whatever it was, I was hooked, and I don't think I could ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever turn back. Ever. Unless I change my mind.

Now on to more important things...like my damn mood. I never KNEW there were so many adjectives to choose from...though I didn't see "dying" in there -- which is how I'm always feeling. Stomach cancer will do that to a person. Fortunately, I don't have stomach cancer, but if I've heard that people die from it. No, I'm just dying a slow, illness-free death. It's as exciting as it is boring.

So, to split the difference, I'm going to put "accomplished." Because, well, it was the stupidest word on the list. And that is saying quite a bit. No, actually, it's only saying 20 words. But it felt like a lot.

And why can't I put "typing" in what I'm doing. Listen, I love Blogs as much as the next man, but with these limited choices I might be forced to go outside and actually talk to people. Trust me, you do NOT want that.

So I put "Watching DVD/Video" (which I hope is short-hand for porn, though I'm not totally sure about that). I can't wait until tomorrow, when I can make all new life-changing choices. Now, if only I had a snappy ending that I could put at the end of every Blog entry. Something like, "And that's how I feel about abortion." Hmm...I like it.