Here's what I figure. I could go on in life, cheerfully filling my blog with any old crap, and the 2 people who read my blog (the other user ID I use in which I pretend to be a hot 23 year old female named Chela, and my mom) might get a hell of a kick out of it. But I think it's time to raise the level of discourse; kick it up a notch. Bring this blognation to what I like to call "The Next Generation." That is, I need a serious blog entry...
Because I was thinking about it. Sure, I spent the first week or so looking up people I used to know. I did manage to find people I knew well such as my best friend from elementary school (What's UP, The Hunt?). I also found all sorts of crazy people whose names I remembered but who I never really talked to. And God Bless those people for existing, because I truly cherish them, but I don't think they're really interested in "what I been doing with my life since they last saw me..." because they really didn't know me...and most people aren't really interested in a stranger's life story (especially if they create huge, cumbersome run-on sentences with elipses and parenthesis littered throughout the length of the thing).
But then there are the forgotten ones. Or, as I like to call them, "The Forgotten Ones." Sorry, I'm not creative at all...but I am good at capitalizing letters. Anyways, these are the people who I had one or more conversations with, who might actually remember "who I was," and might be "interested in what I was doing," but who I didn't actually look up...because I forgot that I knew them. Those people, I thought, deserve an update...partly because I feel bad that I forgot about them, but mostly because that's what you do when you meet people you haven't seen in a while. You ask them what they've been "up to." You tell them what you've been "up to." You make out. You cry a little bit in the car ride home. You pick daisies from the side of a hill and go home and create your patented "Daisy Shake" in the blender, and you sip that while watching reruns of "The Gilmore Girls."
But I digress (damn, and I promised myself I wasn't going to digress...but here I go digressing all over the place...shooting my digressions is sticky wads all over the keyboard and mouse). So I've decided to spend a post updating all interested parties on what I been "up to," because really, the only reason I decided to log into this site was to see what people from my past were "up to." I figure they deserve the same from me...and I'm not really interested in dating you (sorry ladies...why did I have to be a heartbreaker) because I've already found & moved-in with the perfect girl, like, 2 years ago. I don't want new friends, because as interesting and cool as you are, I've got friends with an actual corporeal form who are much more fun to hang with. And I don't want to have dirty, dirty, dirty cybersex with you...because I have to type with two hands. Sorry. It's just this thing I do (and honestly, have you ever tried to type "I am unbuttoning my jeans to bring out my 12" rod; do you like what you see?" with your left hand? It's damn near impossible. The quotation marks alone make the whole endeavor just not worth it)
Damn digression! And a gross one too...great...there goes any chance I had with all those hotties from my past (kidding, Erika 
) (wait, is that the "dead" emoticon? Awesome!). So anyway, I now realize that this entry has gone from "way the damn hell too long" to "eternal." So, I might actually just stop typing now, and save the update for later...probably tomorrow. Actually...I think that's a fantastic way to build up a little suspense. "Wow, I can't wait until Tyler updates his blog tomorrow! I won't be able to sleep a wink until I find out!!!" (the only people saying this will be Chela and mom, of course).
In the mean time...do try to get a little sleep Charlene and Chela...because that's how I feel about abortion (man, I totally forgot about that closing line).
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